Are You Unintentionally Shutting Your Team Down?
Are You Unintentionally Shutting Your Team Down?
Ever feel like your team isn’t fully engaged? Leaders can create a “silencing” effect without realizing it, which leads to a stagnant dynamic where meetings become one-sided and ideas aren’t flowing. Here are three mistakes leaders make that stop conversations before they start.
1. Being the Loudest Voice in the Room
When leaders dominate conversations or act as the sole authority in the room, team members often shrink back. It’s not always intentional—you might think you’re saving time, preventing miscommunication, or steering the conversation in the “right” direction. But the impact is clear: people hesitate to contribute, and fresh ideas get lost.
You might not be the only one contributing to this dynamic. If you ignore quieter team members and allow the loudest voices to dominate conversations, you’re losing out on the value these individuals bring to the table. When people feel irrelevant or excluded, they disengage. Over time, this erodes creativity, collaboration, and morale.
Practical Steps for Leaders:
Provide clear agendas and expectations ahead of time so everyone comes prepared to engage.
Use specific follow-ups like, “What potential challenges are we overlooking?” or “Does anyone have an alternative way to approach this?”
When quieter members contribute, amplify their input: “That’s a great point—tell me more about that.”
Work on developing emotional intelligence as a leader so you develop a sense for when people don’t feel comfortable speaking up.
2. Providing Criticism Instead of Feedback
If you notice your team reacts to feedback with defensiveness, frustration, and even resentment, chances are your feedback feels more like criticism than a learning opportunity. Why does this happen? Leaders often focus too much on driving results instead of guiding development.
When feedback centers on judgment rather than collaboration, it creates a culture of blame. Team members become hesitant to take risks or suggest new ideas for fear of being “wrong.” Over time, this approach shuts people down.
Practical Steps for Leaders:
Before giving feedback, ask yourself: am I helping them think critically and grow, or am I just expressing frustration?
Instead of just doling out feedback, create a two-way dialogue so team members can take ownership of the learning process.
Use guiding questions to build accountability and resilience, empowering your team to think critically and solve problems effectively.
Ask “What was your thought process behind this approach?” or “What result were you aiming for?” or “What is one thing you would do differently next time?”
3. Assuming Instead of Asking
“What inspires you?” It’s a simple question, but leaders often take the answers at face value without digging deeper. They hear things like “career advancement” or “work-life balance” and assume they know what that means. But you’ll often find that each person has unique definitions for these terms.
One team member might equate career growth with leading a team, while another sees it as mastering technical skills. “Work-life balance” might be code for remote work or it could mean needing flexible deadlines. Failing to uncover these distinctions leads to misaligned goals and missed opportunities to support your team effectively.
Practical Steps for Leaders:
In one-on-ones, ask open-ended questions like “When do you feel the most energized or inspired?” or “What does success look like for you?”
Push past surface-level answers. If someone says, “I want to grow my career,” follow up with, “Tell me more about what that means.”
Connect their personal aspirations to their professional goals. Ask, “How would achieving this goal affect your work and your life?”
Make these conversations ongoing rather than a one-and-done event. This is how you build a rapport with team members and create a collaborative work environment.
Stop Driving, Start Guiding
Remember, leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions and guiding your team to uncover their own insights and strengths. Stop driving conversations, decisions, and feedback—start guiding, and watch your team
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